Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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