I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize