so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
