I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My pussy is not your playground.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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