Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
