Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
