Where did you get a picture of my penis
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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