did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize