It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
