I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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