Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
