this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
