ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize