I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
