dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
