I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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