hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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