No, you can still breathe under the balls.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
