I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
