i'm signing you up for texting rehab
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
