check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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