I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So apparently I’m into choking now
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