Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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