I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we're so committed to being not committed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
