i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
