She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
