Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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