I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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