I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
