I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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