Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize