If that was your dad, he is hot
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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