making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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