Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
