A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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