I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I am naked and annoyed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
