what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
