My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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