just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
