put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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