is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this just has baby written all over it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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