We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
