boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
