none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
