i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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