what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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