I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
