Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
