If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
