my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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