i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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