Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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