Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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