last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my liver is dry heaving
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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