yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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