dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
