i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
