You're my little dorito
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
