i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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