YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
