But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
