i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
